Even in 2012.............

Just read a post on twitter by Farhan Akhtar,the Bagwati guy from ZNMD. It went like this;
The fact that, even in 2012 the waste from train toilets falls directly onto the tracks is shameful!

No reason this should continue…

Made me think about so many other things that are happening all around the country  and the world that really makes me wonder why such things occur even in 2012.
Change is the only thing that is constant in this world , yet there are so many things that have not changed for the better.

It saddens  me to see that even in 2012;

• A high court judge in Karnataka tells a wife who has filed a case against her physically abusive husband that she should adjust and keep the marriage going as her husband is earning well and can look after her well.Al these things keep happening in marriages.So what if he beats her now and then ,he has the right to do that as he looks after her.
• Women are looked at as objects of lust and desire.
• There are so many cases of female infanticide and foeticide.Preference is given for a male child.
• If rapes occur the onus is on the victim for luring the perpetrator due to improper dress or being in the wrong place at the wrong time.She is made to feel responsible for her rape.
• There was a fatwa against females wearing jeans in some parts of north India and they were told to refrain from wearing jeans or they would have to bear the consequences.
• A political leader (a female one at that) gave the verdict that girls should not be allowed to use mobile phones or mix with the opposite sex as it corrupts their minds.
• An ex-minister supported the Khap Panchayat saying that the marriageable age of girls should be reduced to 16 so that the number of rape cases in that particular state could be reduced.
• There are rarely any hygienic toilets for females to relieve themselves at railway stations,bus-stands and on highways.
• There are people who laugh at those who dare to dream,.
• A single woman is looked at with disdain if she chooses to remain single all her life.There are accusations about her character.
• In spite of all the accidents that take place due to drinking and driving ,men and women continue to drink under the influence of alcohol and make the roads hell on earth.
• Little girls are raped  by their own near and dear ones and the rapists go scot-free while the victims bear the pain for a lifetime.
• There are dowry deaths and acid attacks on women.
• People dump so much of waste into the rivers,seas and oceans.
• People continue to burst crackers for Diwali ,marriages and other functions for the thrill and excitement they think they bring when really all they bring is noise pollution,sound pollution and environmental pollution.
• People use religion/caste as  their favourite weapon to gain extra votes and remain in power.
• There are so many little kids who are malnourished.
• The population of the country is increasing by leaps and bounds in spite of all the propaganda about a small family.
• Electricity and water,the basic necessities of life have not reached so many villages in the interiors of our country.
• Even after the Sarva Shiksha Abhiyaan was introduced with much fanfare in so many states ,there are so many little kids who have not got access to basic Primary and Secondary education.
• There are so many violent incidents that are triggered by religion/language/caste/class/colour differences all around the world.
• Even after so many lessons that our past has taught us about the ill-effects of war, we have not learnt to live together in peace as one human race.
• Man has learnt to handle and control all the latest gadgets but has not learnt to have control over his desires and emotions.
• In spite of all the documentaries and research findings,man tends to ignore the dangerous outcome of Global warming.We fail to watch our carbon footprints and fail in being environment friendly.

All this makes me wonder.......

Will things ever change???

A Fair(y) Tale or The Dark Truth?

This write up was published in the DNA newspaper in October 2006.
Being dark-skinned unlike all my sisters who are fair-skinned  , I have often been asked whether I am really their sister.Thankfully, my parents never made any distinction among us.No one should.

The world is full of colour.Nature has bestowed the flora and fauna with colours.Humans too have been painted in different colours which,from time to time, have been a bane.Beauty is skin-deep they say,but a person's skin colour has, many a time been a boon or a curse.Ask me,I have experienced it.

Even today after all these years,we Indians are over-awed with white skin.Read all the matrimonials and see it in black and white....Wanted-fair,slim and beautiful girl.Fair skin is a pre-requisite for beauty,it seems .As a teacher I have seen children who are fairer being chosen for dances and skits over the dark-skinned counter parts just on the basis of their fair skin. At times when I have chosen talented children for their dancing and acting abilities I have been questioned on my selection if they are dark-skinned,."You are taking her???Why don't you take her?" they say pointing towards a fairer child.This coming from teachers,utterly disgraceful and sad .Of course,their suggestions are not taken and I go on with my preference.Talent ,after all, should be the only criteria for selection.

Earlier I travelled from Kalwa to my school in Mulund by train.I held a first class travelling train pass.On one of my many journeys a lady boarded the train at Thane.her. Her entry brought on many curious glances from the others in the first class compartment.The lady in question was dark-skinned and simply dressed.One of the women gathered courage and said," माफ़ कीजिये,ये फर्स्ट क्लास का डिब्बा है,सेकंड क्लास डिब्बा आगे है" The woman in question was unruffled.Giving her a dirty look she displayed her first class quarterly pass and said, "Yes,I know that.I have a first class pass.Did you think that only fair-skinned people with expensive clothes and thick make-up can buy a first class pass?? आप माफ़ कीजिये और अपनी सोच बदलिए ."On hearing this interaction I just wanted to clap and cheer her for her apt response!

One of my colleagues rues the fact her kid who is dark-skinned is always taunted by close family members for his colour.What a terrible way to hurt someone's self esteem!My husband is quite fair and was handsome when I married him(not that he isn't now!).I am much darker than him.One day one of my sisters who is quite fair herself jokingly asked him," How did you agree to marry her,she is so dark?"To this my hubby replied,"My father was very fair and my mother was dark-skinned yet he married her.She was a gem of a person.After my fathers untimely death when I and my siblings were very young ,my mother brought us up single-handedly and instilled all the right values in us One's colour is not important,it's what inside us that really counts,."

It is high time that we learn to live without the prejudices of colour. The world is already reeling under the barriers of caste,religion,class,language and race.We surely don't want to add colour to that ,do we??Let us teach our children to have unbiased views of persons without being influenced by colour or any other attributes.Let us learn to value people for what they are and not their skin colour. After all,we should remember that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Mind Your Words......

The other day I was just having a look at the pictures one of my face book friends uploaded and I was surprised to see a war of words of sorts being exchanged between two of her FB friends. It made for interesting reading and I am never the one to let such things go undisclosed.

On further investigation I found out that my FB friend had uploaded a lovely picture of herself with her little bundle of joy and there were many comments and likes for it. here was the catch. One particular friend, make that two, not so subtly said that my FB friend had put on some weight. And then the war of words began........

Pal 1- Hey hi how r u ? Seems uve put on a lot bt lukin sweet

Pal 2 - Both cute....but u have put on some weight but still looking nice...

Pal 3- me thinks you should delete a friend

Pal 3- the muppet that put the unnecessary comment against your beautiful picture, they should be enrolled in to charm school

Pal 2- Dear friend if u referring to me then let me tell you that she is also a good friend of mine....and its been ages since I saw her thats y i said that she has put on some weight since I last saw her......there is nothing to get serious on it....I know that she wouldn't mind it as she is always very cute!!

Pal 3- sometimes it is better to keep your thoughts to yourself.

Pal 2- BTW, it is between me and her  you cannot just comment like this on

anyone....you may please show your love/friendship in any other way..

Just a comment on someones weight gain instigated all this..........

Reading the war of words made me realize that there are so many people out there on face book, at the market place, at the workplace, in your social circle and even at our own home who do not hesitate to speak out critical comments at the drop of a hat. These very people balk at the thought of giving their honest opinions where it matters most, like at the meeting organized to give suggestions for the betterment of the institute or where it can really make a positive difference. It is then that they become YES-men and agree to whatever is suggested by the higher authorities in the hope of gaining their approval.

Many people out there assume that if one is close enough to another you have the right to criticize but that is not the case. It makes it all the more important to mind your words as you are dealing with someone you love or care for so why hurt that person with unkind words however true they may be? Say what is true but make sure it is not hurtful to the one hearing it.

Don't get me wrong .I am always a believer that one should speak out their mind and state facts instead of buttering up or resorting to flattery but at times we do need to think and weigh matters and understand whether stating the truth is a good option or not.Some things are better left unsaid.

For example if  Pal 1 and 2 in the above situation need not have commented on the weight gain issue at all and instead just appreciated her and her lovely kid.It would have hurt none.Not that the person in question herself has made any remark but yet,who knows,she may have felt hurt,after all this is a comment passed on a social site.And women of all ages and sizes are touchy about weighty issues.

I faced similar situations when I had gained a few kilos recently (thanks to my love for good food) and there were many who gave me their expert unsolicited comments. Even the people who met me after many weeks or months greeted me with the statement-"You have put on such a lot of weight,what happened?" I had to just smile through their comments and veer to other topics.Of course I could have told them that I had a full length mirror at home which told me about my weight gains,I had my dresses and jeans to tell me  that I had put on weight and of course I had my husband who would never ever leave a chance to say how much weight I had gained .So I never needed any reminders from them about my weight gain.

It is not about weight,dress sense,style,colour,cooking or grades .........there are people who try to find faults with everyone and everything.The funniest part is that there are some who don't like to be criticized but they do not hesitate to criticize others.

Here I would like to add that how we say something has an impact too.Who says it,when it is said,how it is said.........all this makes a difference.

My point is if you have something good to say,please do say it but if it is something critical mind your words and think about how the other person would feel on hearing  those words.What bothers me most is that people are always ready to criticise but when it comes to appreciating  something or someone they lag far behind.

Let us make some effort to make someones day by appreciating them.I do not mean you have to resort to flattery but if you look carefully there is always something in others that can be appreciated .Thing is that we are so busy looking for faults that we rarely notice their good qualities.

Appreciation is a skill,learn to develop it.

After all each one of us likes to be appreciated.

Voyeurism at its best........

Staying inside a house for ninety days with near strangers is a task.That's what the challenge is for all the Bigg Boss contestants.They face challenges each day and the facade they try to put up for the audience slowly disappears as they show their true colours .These are the celebrities ,the personalities that we,as viewers,watch on the television screen or in the sports field..Here we have their emotions on display as they vie for attention and support of their housemates.Each one tries to out -play and at the same time tries to project himself as a do-gooder.This time the 'I am holier than thou' act is played by Sidhu at the Bigg Boss house.Friendships are made and broken at the drop of a hat.What matters most is the nomination that decides the contestants' fate at the house.After the nomination it is up to the viewers to decide by voting for their favourite contestant in the bid to keep them safely cocooned inside the house.

The daily squabbles over the cooking,the cleaning and emotional upheavals in relationships and bonding with one another make this reality show interesting for us.We get to peep into the lives of these celebrities.As humans we are voyeurs ,always inquisitive to know about the lives of others,their emotions,their challenges,how they react to certain situations etc.Seeing the housemates live together is a lesson in psychology for the viewers,if they take it like that instead of just pure entertainment.How one reacts in a given situation,how we would react in that situation,what makes us break down and what situations makes us stronger,how friends can turn into foes for personal gains,how even our enemies can make us grow in a way we can never think possible............the list is endless.

What makes the watch more worthy is the presence of my favourite Salman (not my Bhai for sure) who, with his inimitable style and panache entices the viewers.I love Bigg Boss as "Alag Chhe" as Salman says.Jo dikhta hai wo hota nahin aur jo hota hai wo dikhta nahi......it is a paradox of sorts.But this itself makes it all the more interesting.

Bigg Boss 6 rocks!!

So does Salman!!!!

Life Sans Regrets.

'Live life with no regrets'

Easier said than done!

If we look back at how our life has shaped ,we will come across many such instances where we think  about how we would have done things differently.

How I wish I had taken up that job.....
How I wish I had told her about my feelings.......
I should not have said that to him........
I should not have taken such a hasty decision.........
Wish I had spent more time with my kids.....
I wish I had done more for my parents..........


The list goes on ...........
What we fail to realize is that those decisions,those actions were all ours but they were taken at a different time zone and under different conditions .

Life has no rewind button and nor does it have a fast-forward button.Nor does life come with undo/delete button.What has happened is done and gone but what we can do is learn from our mistakes.

Instead of regretting them we need to gain from them.To err is human after all.Mistakes are a way of life.They are not the end of your existence.You can make amends (if you can) and move forward with renewed vigour.

Look at the present and live it to the fullest.Try your best to live life in a manner that you will have no regrets in future but there is no guarantee that it is possible.Life, after all is uncertain but keep that chin up and accept the gift that TODAY offers.

Yesterday is History,
Tomorrow is a Mystery,
Today is a Gift so it is called the PRESENT.
Use it well!

Sridevi.......Aaiyayo!!!

What I am looking for is not love but respect................this line stayed with me long after I had watched Sridevi's comeback movie - English-Vinglish.

The movie was one that touched a chord somewhere.It was refreshing in its simplicity.A home-maker who is taken for granted longs to be respected by her family,this forms the crux of the film.The journey of the woman as she finds her true self by taking up challenges that come her way is a welcome change from the movies that are a saga of revenge and hate.

Sridevi as the protagonist is like a breath of fresh air after watching all the so-called heroines who are hell-bent on showing less of their acting skills and more of skin.She proves that she is still the superb actress who showed her talent with her role in movies like Sadma,Chandni,Mr.India and many more.

The rest of the cast also does their bit and makes the movie a treat to watch.The few songs in the movie are foot-tapping and the dialogues are well-written.A simple story told in a matter of fact manner without the frills ,thrills and chills reserved for the typical bollywood movies.

What stands out in the movie is the handsome French guy at the language class,Sridevi's beautiful sarees,the songs,Sridevi's (Michael Jackson) dance steps,the storyline,Sridevi's final speech in English,the message the film conveys and of course -Sridevi,Sridevi,Sridevi........

The film has banked on the popular serial Mind Your language and the Indian version of it Zabaan Sambhal Ke but we are not complaining.The film is a must watch for everyone as each one of us feels inferior and humiliated at some point in life and this teaches us that one needs to find respect for oneself first and then the rest will follow.Belief in oneself is a must as only then can we face challenges that come our way.

And no,though my review may make the film seem to be a bit preachy it is not so.What it conveys is done in a subtle and simplistic manner.

The only thing that I could not digest was that the lead was supposedly a Maharashtrian house-wife,Shashi Deshpande but her accent was totally South Indian (Aaiyayo!!!)Then maybe this was bound to happen as the Director-Gauri Shinde,a Maharashtrian herself, tried to portray the problems her mother (or was that mother-in-law?) faced in communicating in English.

So,all in all a great movie to watch.The last toast that Shashi raised at her nieces' wedding was touching.That one last speech by her in English made Shashi'a family realise how they had taken her for granted all these years and it brought tears in my eyes.

It made me realise that each one of us needs to be treated with respect and we need to consciously see whether we are taking people who are close to us for granted and whether we are unintentionally ridiculing others and/or making them feel inferior.If we are,we need to mend our ways as each one of us may be different but is special in our own way.What we all need is RESPECT.

To Teacher with Love.........

Being a teacher for the last thirty years of my life has been a wondrous experience that has taught me new lessons of life each day.I have always considered it my good fortune to have taken up this profession.I am proud to be a teacher and hope to be one all my life.Even as a teacher I am also a learner for life as we all should be.

Teacher's Day is celebrated in India on 5th September each year though International Teachers Day is celebrated on 5th October in most countries.I have always had great regard for teachers.I still remember my school days when we  had such wonderful teachers teaching us at the Convent Girls High School at Dadar. In fact I had a major crush on one of my teachers(who doesn't?).Those were the days when we tried to get into the good books of the teachers and waited to run errands for them.It was an honour to be called to clean the blackboard,carry books or give our textbook to the teacher.I am in touch with many of my school mates and they too agree that our teachers have inspired us to make us what we are today.I thank all my school teachers who taught me, right from those who taught me my A,B,C's to those who helped me with complicated Math and Physics problems in my SSC year.

Cut to my college years where I did my Diploma in Education.The teachers there gave me my first lessons in teaching.I can not forget my first classroom teaching experience at a school at Malad.From there there was no looking back.I realized that teaching is what I have always wanted to do and I pursued it with unbridled enthusiasm.I remember all my D.Ed college teachers with utmost respect and I thank them for initiating me into the world of teaching and making me capable of pursuing my goal to teach.

Years later I was back in college for my Bachelor's degree in teaching.It was here that I met some of the most fantastic teachers who inspired me and made me realize that there was so much I could do in the field of teaching to change lives of children for their betterment.It was here that I learnt to search myself and accept new challenges.I met some truly inspiring teachers and  I will always remember them with great respect.Hats off to all my teachers at Bombay Teachers Training College(BTTC) for their support and inspiration.

Life is a great teacher and we are always learning new lessons from her.It is upto us to remember those lessons and act accordingly for a better life.Life is not just about making the most money,attaining the highest position,or gaining new and expensive things, but about imbibing the true values of life.

I salute all my teachers who have made an impact in my life and have made me what I am today.
Thanks for being my strength and inspiration.
I hope I too inspire my children like you have inspired me.

Chak De India!

Just watched a re-run of the movie 'Chak De India' on television yesterday.This movie never ceases to amaze me.It is wonderful to see how a coach manages to bring together a young women's hockey team to play for India even as there are distinctions in the team based on the states the members belong to.In the beginning he sees that each one is bent on focussing on the state they belong to and the coach ,in his own unique way, teaches them that in unity alone lies true power.This is done when a bunch of lecherous boys try to act fresh with one of their members.That is enough to get them all together and bash the living daylights out off the boys.

There were many a special moments in the flick which has made it an endearing one.There is the mega moment when the coach tells them to introduce themselves and when they do so by highlighting the state they belong to, he makes them do the introduction once again introducing themselves as Indians.The one that is one of my favourites was when the women's hockey team plays against the men's hockey team and is appreciated for its performance in spite of losing for their sheer grit and determination.One was when the coach sees a Briton hoisting the Indian Tricolour at the game venue before the big match..Another one that was super was when one member rejects the proposal of her cricketer boyfriend to discover herself and her game.The camaraderie among the team members is noteworthy and it showcases how a team compartmentalized by states , religion, language or caste can never win while a team that is united can beat all odds.What a lesson for us!

This movie was a blockbuster and everyone raved about it.How I wish everyone watched this and learnt the big lesson in it for all of us!This movie teaches us that unity is indeed strength.If you have not yet watched this superb movie I recommend you do so.This is one of my favourite 'Mera Bharat Mahaan' wala feeling type of  movie like Swades and Rang De Basanti .

India is passing through trying times.Each day we read  and hear abut the violence and hatred incited by religious,caste,state and language differences.It saddens me  to see our own people fighting with people from other states like sworn enemies.It is this disharmony that will be the hurdle in India's progress.No nation can prosper when its people are not bound together by unity.

In fact ,I would go a step further and say that unity is needed amongst all the countries of the world .Mahatma Gandhi has rightly said,The world will live in peace only when the individuals composing it make up their minds to do so'.So,are we ever going to make up our minds to be united???

Be a Sport!!!!

The London Olympic Games drew to an end and there were accolades galore for all the medallists who made India proud with their haul of 6 medals at the games.To some it may seem- What is the fuss all about???It was only six medals won by a country of 1.2 billion,so what!
There is much more to the wins than that meets the eye.

These medals were not an easy win to say the least.I agree even the participants from other countries have put in their best efforts to win but there is a huge difference.Sports in India has always been given step-motherly treatment.Right from the school days,young children are weaned into believing that it is marks they score in academics alone that will take them far so they are not to take sports seriously.Even if the child is exceptional and does well at sports,he does not get the support he should to pursue it diligently.Lack of resources from the government or sponsors and the need to earn makes it impossible for him to continue with his dream to excel at the sport he is good at.At times even when this hurdle is crossed there is the red-tapism and political clout which works against him moving up further towards his goal.Compare that with the support the government gives the sports persons in other countries and you will know the difference.

In spite of all the hardships after conquering all obstacles the winners  have done their country proud and hence the medallists'feats are highly commendable.What's more awe-inspiring is that most of these medallists were from the interior villages of India which live in poverty and lack even the basic amenities of life.It is not that we lack the talent as that is in abundance but we need to tap this talent,nurture it and hone it for future success.For that the government,financial companies,corporates etc. should willingly come forward to provide assistance to groom the sports persons.Proper training and resources can make a world of difference.

'Catch them young' should be the motto.For that the parents and teachers have to take initiative and groom the child from a tender age.The schools must make it compulsory for all students to pursue at least two games and master them.Parents should recognise the importance of sports and games for children.They should be allowed to choose the games they want to play and master them.The exceptional ones should get the desired coaching and sponsorship to pursue their game and compete at all levels.The media should give sports and sports persons the desired coverage so that people take interest in it.

If we give sports the importance it deserves,the day will not be far when India too will come back with many medals and be a country to reckon with.Sports is much more than cricket,cricket and more cricket.Even our national sport -Hockey is going through a terrible phase now.At this Olympic they were at their lowest low as they did not win any of the matches it played.What a shame!

Let us hope that sports is given due importance and the government ,policy-makers ,sports academies,corporates,media,schools parents and society at large collectively come together to make the required change.We have the talent we need ,what we need now is the push for sports in the right direction.

So,are we ready to do that???
C'mon ,be a sport and do your bit to propagate sports in your own little way.

Jaago,India,Jaago!!!

The lights dim and the whole audience stands up just as the screen displays a message requesting the audience to stand up for the National Anthem. The National Anthem is played and simultaneously a film clipping is shown which shows the Indian Jawans bearing great hardships at the borders of India to protect our nation.There is complete silence in the auditorium and I can hear my voice breaking through their silence as I sing the National Anthem loudly and clearly .At the end of the film clip I have goosebumps and tears sting my eyes.

The Tricolour fills my heart with untold pride for my country.I am filled with ecstasy to see the Tricolour unfurled each year.I truly believe that India and Indians have great potential and are no less than the other countries.The problem lies in belief ,dedication and execution.In fact ,we,Indians always underestimate our worth and feel that we cannot ever be as progressive as the other nations.We ridicule the government policies and their working but conveniently take a planned holiday when it is time to vote our representatives in the government.We want to enjoy all our rights but fail to account for our duties towards our country.

Indians ,as a whole, give undue importance to anything 'foreign'.We look at foreigners with awe,especially those who are white-skinned.Indians who have done exemplary work are appreciated for their work in other countries but their work does not get the same appreciation and recognition it deserves in their own country.

We tend to ape the west and eagerly follow the western trends like partying ,night-outs,clubbing,western dress styles,drinking,consuming  drugs,live-in relationships,dating etc. We do all this and declare this as a sure sign of progressiveness while we conveniently tend to ignore other issues.Why don't we stop littering,spitting and defecating in public places like them???We glorify the foreign countries for being oh-so-clean and do not litter or spit when we go there but when we come back to India we have no qualms about throwing the empty packet of chips out of the car,spitting on the roadside,relieving ourselves near the park,bursting crackers in the streets or throwing garlands in the river or sea.

Why,this change of attitude???Is it because of our 'India mein yeh sab chalta hai' attitude???Who is responsible if India is becoming more filthy? The answer is me,you,WE!

Can't we keep our surroundings clean like responsible citizens?We have been taught about cleanliness from the time we were in Kindergarten  but we have long forgotten those lessons.It is high time we remember that those lessons were for life and it is never too late to begin even now.

We consider ourselves to less worthy than the other countries though we can be as good,or may be better than the other countries if only we believed so.

I watched a programme on NDTV that shows a celebrity visiting the Indian Armay Jawans and interacting with them.The episode had Deepika Padukone who travelled to Jammu to meet the jawans there.It was an awe-inspiring episode that had Deepika participating in all the activities the jawans performed throughout their training and tenure.There were clippings of the jawans' families who live life without a loved member of their family with them as he is out there protecting our nation.

Infinite heartfelt gratitude is for each and every soldier I salute the Indian soldiers -the army,navy and air-force for being there for us.There they are, protecting our motherland and putting their life at stake while here we do not even feel the need to show our respect and solidarity for our nation by attending a flag-hoisting ceremony to salute the National Flag and sing the national Anthem in unison.Why don't we,as Indians sing our National Anthem loud and clear with pride in our hearts for our country???

It is time to awake and introspect. Better late than never. Let us recognize and awake the true Indian spirit .It will not be long before India truly becomes India Shining.Let us realize our worth and then everyone else too will.Instead of cribbing,take action.Work for India's progress.

Hum kar sakte hain, humein karna hai, hum karenge!!!

Because if not now,WHEN???

If not here ,WHERE???

If not you,WHO???

No Pressure, Only Pleasure,Please!!!

"How I wish I was a kid again!"

This is what we think many a times as adults.We remember those carefree days when we spent our childhood playing with friends,watching the few channels on television,eating 'ghar ka khana',time out with school friends,the rare movie in the one screen theatres and having a burden - free life .

Is this the same with today's kids????Not by a long shot!

The children of today are a burdened lot.Conclusive research has found that there are thousands of school-going children committing suicide these days.What is it that is driving these little kids to take away their lives at this tender age?

The answer is, sadly, we adults.It is the adults in society and their perception of success that leads the little ones to frustration and  lives cut short.The tender minds cannot bear the pressures they face in their life and they give up on themselves and put an end to their lives.

We,as adults think that our kids should be the very best at what they do.They should score the maximum marks,shoot the maximum goals,score the maximum points at each and every competition they participate in and be the BEST or better than the best.We label children by the marks they score.If he/she is not scoring good marks they are not worthy.We see their marks as their worth and also assume that the one who scores better is going to be more successful in life and the rest are not going to make anything of their life.

As adults,we are trying to increase the Intelligence Quotient (I.Q) of the children and not even thinking about their Emotional Quotient(E.Q)We teach them how to learn all the formulae,the tables,the answers to the questions in lessons,how to excel in sports,music,dance but we do not teach them how to accept failure,how to value and respect others,how to handle stressful situations and how to behave like responsible persons in society and be the messengers of change for the betterment of society.We instil in their minds that as long as you get great marks in the exams , you are good and if you don't do that , you are unworthy.What's more,the parents treat the marks their kids score as a prestige issue.They highlight their kids scores and successes to one and all and bask in their kids laurels.

We,as well-meaning adults, should realize that kids are ours to love and care.They are not to be treated as trophies that we need to display to the world.Each child is different and needs to grow at his/her speed ,as per his/her ability.Less marks does not mean less capable or less worthy.Let us stop assuming that only those who score more marks or only those who score enough to be engineers or doctors are worthy while the rest who opt for other streams are not .Just as much as we need engineers ,doctors and IAS officers,we need bank clerks,journalists,mechanics,writers,anchors,teachers,artists and the like.What is important is that a child should be happy with the field he/she chooses.

Even as school-going children the kid is under tremendous pressure to excel in studies and the extra-curricular activities.To ensure that he/she does that the parents enrol them for different coaching classes so the poor kid jumps from one class to another and has his day overloaded.Many times he/she has no time to play with his/her friends as he/she would love to.We should allow our children to enjoy their childhood as we did.I agree there is a lot of stress to perform and excel but it is we are putting this pressure on them and we can change it by learning to understand their individuality and capabilities.

As well-meaning adults,it is high time we worked on improving their EQ along with their I.Q.Teach them to respect themselves and those around them Teach them good values that will hold them in good stead in future.Teach them that is OK to lose at times and there are many more opportunities that will come their world.teach them how to handle stressful situations by being more organised.and disciplined.Teach them that you love them irrespective of the marks they score and the laurels they win or don't win.Most importantly,teach them that they are extremely important to you and try to make them good humans first before trying to make them good at scoring the highest marks.

What we need for the children today is more pleasure and lesser pressure.Let them do things they enjoy.Allow them to pursue a game or hobby of their choice.If they are scoring less,help them to do the best they can without comparing their results with another,let them better their own level.according to their capacities.

Most,importantly,let the children enjoy their childhood.They are not asking too much,are they????

Gopal Kaala or 'Bring in the Moolah???'

It is the same each year.The Gokulashtami celebrations are becoming more commercial and it really makes me wonder whether this is the true spirit of celebrations.

Gopal Kaala or Gokulashtami is celebrated as Lord Krishna was born on this day.It has been the tradition to  form human pyramids and break the Dahi Handi tied up on a high rope.I have witnessed this festival being celebrated since the days of my childhood.During those days groups from different localities staying close-by used to come and break the handis put up in the near-by housing societies and complexes.They broke these amidst the cheers of the neighbours and the people splashed water on them as they did so.After the task was done they collected the few notes tied to the rope,removed the fruits and vegetables tied on the rope and distributed it among themselves as prasad. At some places it was organised on a huge scale but the fervour was the same.People enjoyed the festival and there was no commercialization of the festival.

The scenario now is completely a changed one.The festival has become so commercialized that it is difficult to see the real spirit of the festival in it.The Govinda Mandals'Govindas are like professionals which move around in T-shirts printed with the Mandals logos.They move around the city and beyond in hired trucks,buses,tempos ,cars and two wheelers.There is a lot ,and I mean LOT of money involved.There are prizes announced for the Govindas making the highest pyramids.The rewards go up to more than lakhs and the Govindas go all out to bring in the moolah for their respective Mandals.The beginning of the festivities begin months in advance when the Govindas practice their pyramids like professionals and there are banners and posters all over the city declaring that this Janmashtami mnadal so and so has the largest prize amount declared or so and so Mandal is the 'World Famous Mandal' which has its fans all over the world.These banners and posters besides defacing the city also is a tool they use to declare their supremacy-the supremacy of one Mandal ,politician or political party over the other.Each and every politician joins the bandwagon to show their clout.The youngsters enjoy the reward money and are treated to much more than just food by the politicians for supporting their Govinda Mandal.

Where is the spirit of reverence,unity and tradition in these festivities???
It is just one Mandal against the other.
Are we even thinking about the golden words of Krishna who taught us to do good deeds without the anticipation of the fruits it yielded?When breaking the Dahi-handis aren't the Govindas aspiring to win the most amount at stake?

In fact when I witnessed the live telecast of the celebrations in Mumbai and Thane on television,it was disgusting to see that there were many dance presentations of Bollywood item songs and the crowds were going berserk watching the dancing ladies.To my surprise,there were numerous occasions when the Govindas were making their eight or seven levels of pyramids without even attempting to break the Dahi-Handis!!!After making the desired levels they were given the prize amount.So,is the celebration just about making the pyramids and raking in the moolah??

In this race for making the highest pyramids there are hundreds injured and some times there are fatal accidents too.The next days news announced that there were about 250 Govindas severely injured and two were dead in the festivities.Seeing the Govindas moving around recklessly on the roads on the two-wheelers and sitting atop the buses and trucks I am sure there were many accidents taking place as they travelled  too.As they pass each other these Govindas pass lewd comments and jeer each other.Loud music blares from the music system and it is not always devotional songs that are played.

These Govinda Mandals are mostly sponsored by political parties and they go all out to please with the maximum money as prizes.They provide the T-shirts,food and beverages,music facilities and the transport for the Govindas.It is a win-win situation for the politicians as they are getting all the attention by putting in money which is not rightly theirs.So it is the peoples money that is being used for this extravaganza.All the prize amount,the money spent on the invitation of film stars and singers,the money spent on the stages,transport,advertisements and the like could have been used in more constructive ways.

Don't get me wrong.I am not against the celebration of festivals but it is the commercialization of festivals that I plead against.I am against groups going out to win with large amounts of prize-money as making maximum money can never be in the true festival spirit.Let us celebrate the festivals with the reverence they deserve instead of making it a big opportunity to win money.

We celebrated the festival in my school with little boys dressed as Gopis and girls dressed as Radhas.We  had a small dahi-handi which was broken by the kids after forming a small pyramid.There was a film show on Krishna shown and the children sang devotional songs.The teachers explained about the importance of the day and the values propagated by lord Krishna.

Janmashtami is much more than winning huge amounts of cash and goodies.It is about remembering the values Krishna upheld.It is about different housing societies coming together to celebrate the festival with joy without the money aspect involved.The Dahi-handis should be broken but only to enjoy the dahi in it and to distribute the prasad.The pyramids need not be high and there is no need to create or break  records.There should be less of money show and more of festive glow.That,according to me, is the festival that would be in the true spirit of Janmashtami.

What do you think???

No Touching,No Touching!!!!!

It was just another day and I was returning home from school.I alighted from the bus and I saw a young teen walking ahead of me.She too was in my bus.Behind her , I saw an elderly man looking around and then moving closer to the girl and touching the girl on her bottom.After doing that the pervert walked away as if nothing happened.The girl meanwhile quickly turned back and saw the man,gave an embarrassed look and walked on.I was seething with anger on seeing this.I spoke aloud to the young girl and told her why she let the man go away like that after what he did. I told her that she should have retaliated and protested aloud at his action.She she did not I gave a piece of my mind to the man who was trying to slink away when he saw that I was being vocal about the incident.The man who was smiling and victoriously looking at the girl earlier,heard my ranting and tried to walk away in embarrassment.

This is a very common incident.Anywhere you go there are men,young and old trying to brush past you,pinch  your bottom,feel your breasts or  grope you in public places.This is most common in buses,railway stations,market places and other public places.Each and every girl or woman has faced this pathetic and perverted behaviour but has reacted differently to it.There are many who face it and keep quiet.They just move away from the situation or person .Some others raise their voice and make the perpetrator of the action feel embarrassed and there are some others who are vocal as well as lethal,they fight back physically by pushing or hitting the person at fault.

I do not understand who gives these perverts the right to touch somebody like this.

Why do girls and women endure this punishment meted out to them and keep quiet to avoid embarrassment?

I would advise them to do what I do and what I have taught my daughter too,voice out your disgust and disapproval for their action aloud.Make them embarrassed for their action and make them realise that you are not going to allow them take advantage of you by being meek.If they are trying to move closer in a bus,sternly tell them to move away.Let them know that you are not going to let them get away by groping and feeling you.Learn self defence and if needed,in extreme cases only,use these techniques.

As parents we teach our little girls to walk carefully in public areas,not to allow other people to touch us where they shouldn't and basically try to protect them from gropers.We teach them to walk in such a way that they learn to dodge the groping hands of the perverts as well as they can.We teach them how to use their bag or folder in innovative ways to keep men or boys from touching them in public places.

Do the parents of boys teach their kids to behave in an appropriate manner that will not cause disrespect to womankind???

Are they taught to avoid touching girls and ladies in public places?

Are they taught that women feel violated when they are touched as they have a right to decide who can touch their body???

I am sure this is not the case.

Are we as parents and teachers failing to teach our kids how to respect women???

Are we building prejudices in the impressionable minds through films and serials that men will be men and will grope,tease and use women for their pleasure and that  women have no right to complain but they should learn to bear all without protest???

It saddens me to see that women have to go through this groping everywhere at all times and, as a woman, let me tell you that it is really an intrusion that disgusts us no end. .

I want every boy and man to know that women do not like being touched and groped like this ,period.

This scenario can change if we parents and teachers teach the children to learn to respect every person .Just as girls are taught to protect their modesty,boys also should be taught to respect the rights of women and not cross their limits.Maybe then this kind of perverted behaviour can be eradicated.

I know that it will take time,but at least there should be a start.

Hope all the boys and men who are reading this and parents who have boys teach their laadlas keep this in mind..........No touching,no touching!!!

Live and Let Live!

All of us are in this world for a reason.We have our own lives to live. In the process we come across so many others who touch our lives in many ways.Each one of us comes with built-in attitudes and abilities,likes and dislikes,views and opinions.We have to accept that what holds true for one may not always hold true for another.Each one is wired differently.Each one is unique.


In spite of all this it is a shame that there are people who show extreme displeasure when they see or hear someone having diverse views or opinions about something.They try their level best to convince them otherwise and if they do not budge they do not hesitate to show their displeasure.


I fail to understand this petty attitude.When will people learn to thrive in diversity???Diversity of beliefs,values,ideas,thought processes etc are bound to be there.Let us learn to accept them and move forward in life without trying to change everyone according to what we think is the best.


Try to see the beauty in the uniqueness around you.Society thrives on this.,make the most of it......

learn things,unlearn things and most importantly be more open to the views and ideas of others.


Live and let live!

Volume Kam Kar!!!!!!!!!!!

These days everyone carries a cell phone,be it the college student,housewife,executive,bus-driver,vegetable vendor or the fish-monger.I am not against the use of the cell phones as they do prove to be quite useful at times.What irks me no end is how these cell phones are misused and are a pain at times.

Imagine being at a crowded railway station (if you have been at the station during peak hours you will know what I mean) and having people walking at a snails pace as they are busy concentrating on their conversations with their cell-pals.It is a pain just waiting for them to move forward so that the rest can .At times they just freeze and continue their oh-so-important conversations causing a minor people-jam.(yes,I know that term does not exist)

During a ride in a public bus or a train it is a given that there will be at least one or two so-called music buffs who will play the music on the cell-phones loud enough for all of us to hear.Last time when I heard the music being played aloud in the train I asked the girl in question,a young college student,to use her head-phone to hear it instead of disturbing the whole compartment and she had the nerve to tell me that since no one else was complaining she would continue.After my rant about it being a public place and insisting on doing otherwise she gave in.

The same happened on my way to Ratnagiri by bus.A middle-aged man was playing music full blast and what's worse,he was singing along!!!I requested him to use his ear-phones or switch off the music and he looked at me as if I had requested him to do something obscene!!!!He could not digest the fact  that someone was actually telling him to do that.

What can I say about the other cell-phone horrors.There are those who scream so loudly on the phone that even those who are miles away can hear and are party to their private lives.So we can hear cuss words,lovey-dovey talk,politics,gossip,recipes and the like being shared with us unintentionally.This happens at the temples and cinema houses too.Here we are, busy having a one to one talk with the Almighty and we can hear someone sharing his tales......or we are in the middle of an emotional scene at the theatre and suddenly there is someone having a loud conversation on his cell-phone.

Then there are those irritating ring-tones that crop up everywhere-at the malls,cinema-houses,temples,schools and clinics.You are at the bus stop and there you hear it loud and clear..........My name is Sheila,Sheila ki jawaani......or you are at school and a parents cell-phone sings-Dhinka-chika-dhinka-chika!!!!

People have no cell phone etiquette at all .I wish each and every cell-phone came with a cell phone etiquette booklet just as they come with a user manual.But then,on second thoughts,who would read them anyway.It is high time we put our foot down and raise our voice to those who play loud music or keep their conversations on at places where they are not supposed to.let us give our best dirty looks to those whose cell-phone rings at the theatre,temple,school,college,conference or hospital.

It may be a small beginning but something should be done about this cell-phone menace.

What do you think???