Sons of Shame

I just read the book 'Daughters of Shame' by Jaswinder Sanghera. It tells us many instances of the abuse meted out to women and young girls in the western world in the name of family honour. The true stories narrated are chilling and an eye-opener to the inhuman punishment prevalent even today behind closed doors of the so-called respectable people in society.It is wrong to believe that abuse and injustice towards women happens only in the lower strata of society.It is prevalent all over and it transcends all boundaries of society be it religious,economical,class ,race ,country or caste.

The book was disturbing as it was not fiction (how I wish it was) Makes me wonder how it brings dishonour or shame if a girl marries outside her caste or religion but it is commendable or right if the same daughter is brutally killed by her own family for her so-called heinous crime or action of shame?How can killing someone or forcing someone to get married be called honourable?

If girls who dare to marry outside their caste and religion are called daughters of shame (though I strongly disagree) then  the men who abuse,molest,rape and kill women are truly sons of shame.Crimes perpetuated on women,young girls and even little kids are heinous and should be strongly condemned and punished.As a woman ,I have been stared at, groped and touched innumerable times at crowded places by perverts and each time it happens, in spite of trying my best to avoid it, I feel violated .No one in their right mind wants to be stared at, groped or felt by any random person.We are definitely not asking for it and when men do it it really makes me furious.I have always raised my voice against such despicable behaviour and have taught my daughter to do the same.

Just watched the Marathi movie Duniyadari yesterday.It depicted four different love stories and the way the love stories ended.The scene etched in my mind is where the main female lead agrees to marry the boy of her fathers choice as she longs to make him happy and get his approval as she has craved for his warmth and love all through her life as she was a girl.Her father had insisted on getting his daughter aborted when he was told that his wife was carrying a girl child.The girls mother pleaded and the child grew up sans the love of her father but under the doting eye of her mother.On her wedding day the male lead,the hero,meets the girl and her father and expresses his love for her the father stoically says ,"This is why I said I did not want a girl."

Everyday we read the newspaper to find out there is a rape happening somewhere.We read about it, feel angry and then the story is lost somewhere in the deep corner of our mind.What we need are the right values to be instilled in the minds of all people,be it men or women.every human being has to be valued and respected.We have to teach about the right behaviour starting from the home front.Just fighting for severe punishment to the perpetrators of the crime is not enough.It is so easy to play the blame game and shirk away our responsibilities.

We have to make a beginning somewhere to put an end to this shame women have to go through.Let us take the first step,however small towards this much-needed change.Start with  your own family.The onus of a better tomorrow lies with us parents as our kids are generation next. Is this the world we want our precious kids to live in???

We ,in traditional Indian families take so much pride in following our religious traditions and rituals.We insist that our younger generation follows them.We teach these right from an early age.Why can't we also teach values of life from an early age?Values that have stood the test of time and that have been propagated by each and every religion.

Why can't we teach our little ones that each one,be it a girl or a boy, has to be respected?

We have to respect the opinions of others even if they are just the opposite of what we believe or think.

What we feel is right may not be so for someone else.

We have to teach our little ones to excel in the work they do and love their work as work is worship.

I am not saying that following traditions and rituals is wrong or right ,I am just saying that one should first and foremost be a worthy human being.

Teach them to work for the betterment of those around you.

Be good and do good. Do not be afraid to follow the path of Shreyah -the right path though it may be difficult.

Teach them not to follow anyone or anything blindly but to reason and question everything before they believe it.

Teach them to follow their conscience instead of following superstitions.

Do not teach your children  what to think but teach them how to think.
Teach them not to be judgmental about others but to introspect and keep changing oneself for the better.

Teach them to oppose and raise their voice against any wrong-doing and injustice boldly.
Teach them to think for themselves instead of following the herd-mentality.

Teach them to believe in themselves and creating their own destiny instead of relying on fate.

So much to teach.......

Difficult???YES!!!!

Impossible???NO!!!

So, are you game?

Are you ready to take the first step towards a positive and better society today?