Why Women Talk Too Much

Wish you knew the answer to that?Well ,I do!!!

Two women were imprisoned in a cell for six long years and when they had served their sentence they were set free.As they bid their good-byes to each other they were overheard saying, "There is so much we have not shared with each other ,let's catch up some time again soon."

A husband is reading the newspaper and the phone rings.the wife picks it up and talks to the other person on the line for half an hour.When she ends the call her husband asks,'Who was it on the line?' The wife replies,"No one we know.It was a wrong number."

There are so many jokes doing the rounds that tell us about the yakkity-yak or the amount of non-stop chatter women do.Be it any topic like clothes , food, shopping ,children,television serials,mother-in laws, husbands ,neighbours ..... women are said to be experts at talking on them like there is no tomorrow.

I do not talk too much (Really!) and so am amazed at the amount women talk.As a frequent traveller in local trains I have witnessed this very often.They sit and make themselves comfortable and then all the women,be it young or old, start talking on various topics.Even at the workplace they wait for a chance to get together and chat.Bus-stops,malls,road-side,temples,parties,weddings.....they can talk anywhere and everywhere!

Why is it that women talk so much or too much???
Or is it that men talk lesser? If so,why???

I got my answer to this when we had a doctor visiting our school for a workshop on the care of our vocal chords.She was basically a voice specialist and came to enlighten us about how to take care of our vocal chords.As teachers,we make the maximum use of our voices during the teaching/learning process so she was there to make sure that we take care of our voice boxes and vocal chords.I am sure many husbands would like to mention that their wives(or should I say bitter halves, according to them, that is) too talk too much so they should also take the same precautions.

Moving on, she explained that each one of us has got vocal chords that vibrate at a certain speed .The vocal chords of women vibrate 225 times a minute while that of males vibrate for 160 times a minute!!!She,the doctor who knew best,explained that it was but natural for women to talk more as their vocal chords vibrated more times per minute as compared to that of men.This bit of information had us all in splits.In the teaching profession women are always in a majority so we all applauded that bit of news.Seriously,our vocal chords are so designed that we speak more than the male species???

I explained about this bit of information (about the vibrations of the vocal chords) at home to the man of the house and my daughter.Each one had their own theory as to why the vocal chords vibrated as much as they did.(I guess this is what happens when you have intellectuals at home who have a view point of their own for everything.)
Theory number one-
My daughter,a psychology student who is going to be twenty in a few months,is of the opinion that a woman is structured to talk more because she has the male species as her audience most of the time.Women have to repeat what they have said at least four times so they have to speak more as compared to men.
This is why....
When women speak the first time the men fail to listen (They are either reading the newspaper,watching sports or share market news on the telly or doing anything else,but listening)
When women repeat what they have said the second time,the men fail to understand as obviously they have not been really listening carefully.
When women repeat it for the third time the men oppose and disagree with whatever has been said so the women have to repeat it for the fourth time!!!
Theory number two-
My husband feels that as women are the ones who give birth and are the nurturers, they are the ones in close contact with the new-born infants who have to be taught many things by repetition.Toddlers have to be taught things again and again so we women are structured to talk more.Another theory he thought made sense was that women have sharper and shriller voices as compared to the huskier and full-throat male voices hence the difference in the number of vibrations in the vocal chords.
(No prizes for guessing which theory I feel was more apt,my daughter's or my husbands)

Moving on......So now all the men and women like me who wonder why women talk too much please be informed that it was meant to be so by the wonders of nature.Women are the ones with the gift of the gab!!!So stop complaining and take their chatter in your stride.As even if you want to you cannot fight against nature.

More power to women!!!

Only wish they knew what to say,how to say and when,but then very few have mastered that art,even amongst  the men.

Sadly,we all have learnt to talk but have not really learnt how,what and when to talk.We do not know when to give our vocal chords the much needed rest.

Back To College!!!

I love teaching and after completion of my D.Ed course(Diploma in Education) I began my journey as a teacher.I was teaching at an elementary school at a reputed institute for about 14 years.Yet,there was something missing.I was not getting the satisfaction I desired.I wanted to push myself further,take up new challenges and explore new avenues in teaching.Being a teacher in the S.S.C Board school for so many years had made me feel stagnant and hence I decided to do my B.Ed course.(Bachelor in Education) Even after so many years teaching in that institute ,I was not granted a years leave for my course (their loss completely!) so I quit.I gave my entrance test and secured admission in the reputed B.T.T.C (Bombay Teachers' Training College) at Colaba. I looked forward to a years training and more importantly, going back to college!

The head of the college was Mrs Mintu Sinha and it was a government -aided college so thankfully,the fees were not sky-high as in the private colleges.There were a hundred students,all aspiring teachers in my class.I fell in love with my class room which was on the fourth floor and which over-looked the magnificent Gateway of India.My class-mates were great fun to be with and the teachers who taught us were a class apart.With all the rules and regulations in the college it was more or less like a school,only without the uniform.The training was rigorous and it really made me a better teacher than what I was.That one year of training made me a more confident person and I developed many new skills.I was greatly inspired by my teachers like Deepti Mehta Mam,Richa Mittal Mam and Meenakshi Lath Mam. They had a novel approach to the teaching-learning process and I hoped to follow their footsteps.Even today, they are remembered with utmost respect.

The course was hectic and demanding.There were many who cribbed each day due to the workload but I enjoyed myself in spite of all the hard work involved.At the elections I was elected as the General Secretary of the class and it was a proud moment for me.I made some great friends during this course and there were innumerable moments that I will forever cherish.We all enjoyed the numerous programmes like the college and inter-college competitions,the zonal special days,festival celebrations and the talent shows.Even the time spent in the class ,the library,the canteen,staffroom,the local photo-copier,the nearby sandwich -wala and the restaurant will be remembered.We also spent some wonderful moments of togetherness at the nearby gateway of India,Marine Drive, McDonald's and Colaba Causeway.We had great fun and so many a times, were a source of exasperation for the teachers.We dreaded the tests,vivas and the journal submissions.We had fun at the teaching schedules at the nearby schools and earnestly prayed for good remarks from the teachers for our teaching lessons.Sports day ,campus interviews and the welcome of the new batch was exciting  and so was our Farewell programme.

Thanks to this training programme,I made some wonderful friends and I am in touch with some of them even today.I cleared the examination and am working at a well-known ICSE Board school.My B.Ed degree made it possible for me to experience teaching at an I.B (International Baccalaureate) school too,which I will always cherish.I was glad to be a part of this college and I hope there are more training colleges like this so that we have better teachers in our schools.Three cheers to my wonderful B.Ed college!

Here are some of the memorable moments spent during my B.Ed course.

The presentation at the Farewell.

The dancer and athlete of our class-Ganesh Khandagale.

On the terrace for the photo shoot.

The 8 Class Council members and the staff members.

Wonderful moments at Marine Drive

At the picnic-Who dares to tease!!!

All set for a class picture.

Enjoying with close friends.

At one of our many zonal functions.

The library where we spent hours searching for the right notes.

Sports day......was beaten at the finals.

At the water resort with the teachers.

Dancing after the sports events.

proudly wearing our Council badges at the programme.

Extoling the virtues of our college through a song which I penned.

In the heats.......pushing myself!!!

My friends at the potato race.

Long jump finals.

Enjoying my place in the sun!

The LTL (Late to Leave)group and its antics!!!

Bidding farewell to a wonderful teacher-Richa Mam.

Performing on the 'Dhol bajne laga' song.

Ramp walk at the water resort with the teachers.

Our wonderful teachers at BTTC!!!

Performing the salsa dance at the function

Two sides Of Obsession.

My cousin from the States was on a short visit and I decided to take her to Colaba Causeway for shopping.After that we went to the nearest theatre for a movie as she had to rush for her work commitment later.Regal was the movie theatre and the movie was Nashaa. Reviews for this movie,as expected, were bad but we just wanted to while away our time.The movie hall was filled with men of all ages and a very negligible women audience.(Not that I expected anything different)The main female lead was Poonam Pandey who became infamous after she promised to bare all if and when the Indian cricket team won the World cup.The team won but Poonam did not keep her promise.So here she was with another obscure young male lead doing what she did best-baring herself in this sleaze film.

Cut back to the story(if you can call it that) A young boy studying in a college is obsessed with his sexy drama teacher and he yearns for her day and night.He has a young girlfriend yet he pines for the older woman and leaves no stone unturned to make it known to her.The scenes of masturbation,sex scenes and the voyeurism was appreciated with cat-calls and wolf-whistles.There were so many comments passed and they really made it clear that we live in a sexually charged,repressed and deprived society.The film was supposed to be a platform for Miss Pandey to bare her 'talents' for all to see.What we all saw was her total lack of it.She cannot mouth her dialogues coherently and she is awful  at the scenes in which she has to cry or vent her anger.The film clearly shows where exactly her real talent lies.......in revealing without inhibitions.There is much demand for such 'actresses' in Bollywood so she will get more film offers for sure.Moving  back to the film, the obsession and lust of  the young lad for the older woman was misconstrued for love!!!I understand that he did not know it given his age but his object of interest also played along and rewarded him with one night of lust/sex with him.Obsession over, she leaves the school never to return(I hope) while the now-satiated young lad goes back to his young sweetheart for making out with her with renewed vigour!The young lass dutifully forgives and forgets her boyfriends waywardness  and accepts him with open arms.Deplorable!

After reading the rave reviews of the move Bhaag Milkha Bhaag I had to catch it at a nearby theatre.It was a tax-free movie.The movie really bowled me over!It was a biographical about the national athlete Milkha Singh who was called the 'Flying Sikh'. An ordinary boy from a small village goes on to become the most famous runner in the world due to his obsession for excellence in his field.In order to achieve his goal he meets many hardships and succeeds in the end.Some scenes remain etched in my mind like the one where a young Milkha returns home during the aftermath of the partition of India to see his whole family massacred and the other where he continues running in spite of severe injury.The love angle in the film was inconsequential and Sonam Kapoor  has nothing to offer in this role.The movie is truly inspiring and makes us salute the greatness of the athlete.It teaches us that when we put our mind and heart in anything we can and we will achieve it.After the movie I was eager to know more about Milkha Singh and wondered why such people are not idolized anymore.

Two films,two obsessions.Both totally opposing in nature.One was solely for self-gratification and the other was for glory of the nation more than personal gains.Of course in the process the athlete did win accolades and recognition for himself.
The youngsters of today need to channelize their energies in the right direction. If they put their mind to it they can achieve miracles. Genext can bring new hope to the present situation in our country.Our country has the highest percentage of young population as compared to the other countries and so if our young population decides we can go back back to being a country to reckon.The problem is that the younger lot is not as inspired as it should be.The urge to do something for their country should become an obsession.The will to do so is lacking.Hope that day is not far when we have more people yearning for the betterment of the country more than personal gains.

   

Love Travels...

I confess-I am a die-hard romantic.

Though love- true,sweet ,ever-lasting love has dodged me throughout my life , I still believe that true love exists.I enjoy watching love stories and I like them all in whichever way they are portrayed.So Mera Naam Joker,Sangam, Titanic, Pretty Woman, Ek Duje Ke Liye,Quayamat Se Quayamat Tak, Saagar, Aashiqui ,Dil Chahata Hai, Dil hai Ki Maanta Nahin,Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge.......each one of these (and many more) have never failed to catch my fancy.Even the off-beat love stories like Paroma, Water,Cheeni Kam, etc are what I appreciate.So when I heard that 'The Lunch-Box'  had released  I went and watched it at a nearby theatre with myself for company.

The movie 'The Good Road' was selected as India's entry to the Oscars and many were of the opinion that 'The Lunch-Box' should have been the right choice to represent India.I am not delving into a debate on that as I have not yet watched the competitor yet.All I can say is that 'The Lunch-Box' is a well made movie.It is so real and routine that we no longer become mere spectators but actually feel what the two protagonists feel.The crowded trains,the urchins singing in their besura voices,the dabbawalas and their loads.....all make us feel in known territory.We are right there among them as we have been there,seen that.

The characters in the film are also real.There is utmost attention paid to each little detail.The suspicious wife smelling her husbands shirts before putting them to wash,the new employee being given a cold shoulder by the older and senior one,the ever-helpful neighbour,the changing wardrobe of the in-love hero after a few exchange of letters......all these make the movie more than just a movie.Love knows no boundaries,it travels and can overcome barriers of age,distance,class and religion.Even without actually coming face to face with each other the couple portrays the deep love and understanding they feel for the other.here there is no physicality involved ,it's the emotions that do the talking.These emotions travel through the lunch-box which is passed to and forth between the couple.What a novel way to portray love blossoming among two adults!!!

The ending is not depicted clearly and it is left to the viewer to guess  what happens next.There are so many wow moments in the film that are subtle yet entertaining.As the movie moves further we wish for the couple to meet and find happiness with each other as they deserve to be happy.The movie travels at a slow pace but then those who appreciate good films know that good things come to those who wait (Sabr ka phal meetha hota )

I came out of the film hall with a smile pasted on my face.

Happiness is not always found in the bigger things and all the little things that bring us happiness are not little after all.

Sigh......they found love at last,will I ever???

Live......Do Not Just Exist!

All of us have, but one life.....it is the life we are living right now.For all who talk about life after death and previous life,I can only say that what was in the past we cannot re-construct and what is our future (after death) we cannot foresee.So,basically,what matters is NOW!!!!

We are the creators of our own destiny.The time spent on the face of the earth cannot be got back.We have to learn to live life sans regrets.Life comes with no pause,rewind or fast forward button.All it has is the start and the stop button so whatever action we take day in and day out has an effect on our life.Why not make the most of this wonderful life of ours then?Why not learn to really LIVE life instead of just existing because even animals exist on this earth and we, humans are supposedly the higher animals.

Some may ask, "Wonderful life? What's so wonderful about this life?" For those I can only say that there are so many on the face of this earth who have problems /challenges much more than the ones we bear.Each one has to bear his own cross so why not try to do just that without cribbing and losing hope?Even as I write this I can recollect the many occasions when yours truly has felt dejected and worthless but then that is life! It has its ups and downs.There have been times when we feel that nothing right is happening in our lives but that is when we have to show our mettle and surge forward with renewed vigour and positive attitude.

Discipline and Education can take us far in this regard.Even introspection plays a major role in understanding our strengths and drawbacks so that we can improve each day.When the letters of the word 'Education' are rearranged it forms 'Action Due' How apt!!There are so many around us who know so many things but do not act upon their knowledge.

During my teacher-training we learnt many definitions of education as defined by renowned educationalists but the one that stayed with me was- 'Education is not merely knowing what we do not know, Education is behaving how we do not behave'.

We know so many things but are we actually using what we know for the betterment of society at large?
When there is any issue are we standing for what is right or are we sitting on the fence and/or joining the majority?
Do we actually think or are we just following the herd mentality?
Are our actions being directed by what is the right thing to do or are we just following the actions of others blindly?
Do we dare to oppose anything that we know is wrong or do we cow down in fear and remain mute spectators fearing a backlash?
Do we ever question ourselves to find out whether what we are doing is right or wrong?
Are we really making a difference to society with our actions?
Are we really living or just existing??
Only we can answer these questions truthfully without bias.
But then again,are we really ready to answer them?
Do we care enough to do that??
Do we??

Daughters Of Shame

Just caught my friend reading this book and she recommended it for reading.The book is a non-fiction written by Jasvinder Sanghera ,whose first book on the same lines, Shame was a best seller.

 Book Review 

Title: Daughters of Shame

Author- Jasvinder Sanghera

Genre: Non-fiction

'Daughters of Shame' tells us about the atrocities faced by young married and unmarried girls under the guise of family honour and traditional values.It is shocking to know that people from the so-called educated and reputable families in the west treat their women so inhumanely.These families who originally belong to India and Pakistan try uphold their traditional upbringing in the western society they reside in.There is a plethora of problems in doing this as the young girls who are surrounded by the western influences and culture prevalent around them are confused about their identity and find it difficult to co-relate with the traditional values and submissive culture while being bombarded each day with the open and permissive values of the west.

Some of the real life incidents gave me goose bumps like the one which depicts how a father brutally attacked and killed his teenage daughter when she expressed her desire to marry a westerner.The father,in the name of family honour ,stabs her about 26 times and the attack is so brutal that the knife too bends.There are many such instances that portray how families subjugate their young daughters behind the closed doors and try to get them married forcibly at a young age without allowing them to decide for themselves.Even after the forced marriage the ill-treatment of the young bride continues in her in-laws house and she surrenders to the atrocities meekly.

A few among these young girls are helped by the social organisation started by Jasvinder Sanghera who herself went against her family to marry a man of her choice.All the incidents are a part of the efforts taken by the organisation to help these girls fight back and lead a life of their own without being subjugated by their family.It is a book that brings hope to the many young women out there who are fighting alone for an identity for themselves.It is inspiring and at the same time depressing to know about the problems faced by the girls living in a mixed social set-up.

Frankly speaking,after reading the book I decided to read something more positive and picked up the book 'A Cup of Comfort for Teachers',a book which is a part of the series which tells us inspiring stories that gives us hope.I do not intend to read the book 'Shame' by the same authoress as I have read enough about the pain and want to read about positive stories now.

Be What YOU Wanna Be

'After years of rigorous research,scientists have finally found the key to happiness. 

Its called Being Yourself .'
I read this on a social site recently and how I loved it!

In our life time we have to deal with people at all walks of life and while doing so we tend to try and appease  everyone.We are afraid to hurt the feelings of others or do or say something that may be disliked by the rest.The seeds of doing what others want us to do is sowed right from our childhood.I am not saying that it is a wrong thing to obey our parents,they do know what is best for us.

Later on it is our friends who influence how we think and what we do.At school too, our classmates are a growing influence on us during our wonder years as we want to belong to the group and do not want to be taunted or ridiculed for not behaving like the in - crowd. Sadly,throughout our growing years we are taught what to think instead of being taught how to think.

We are taught not to question and to accept everything told to us without putting forth our viewpoints on the same.This continues throughout our life and we become mere followers and not trend setters.We flow with the crowd and lose ourselves in the crowd thus failing to carve a niche for our self identity and realizing our true self. We fail to speak out our mind,we fail to do as we want to,we fail to go where we want to......... We fail to be ourselves.

The sadder part is that while we become a part of the milling crowd,we start opposing anyone who refuses to be a part of the same crowd.We detest and try to pull down anyone who is trying to be his/her own self and is trying to create an identity of his/her own.If this continues very soon we will have only clones who blindly follow others without thinking.

Thankfully this is not to be.There are so many thinking people out there who,in spite of all the hurdles they face,walk down the untrodden ways.These are the people who think and reason and use their minds and thinking skills without accepting the thoughts of others blindly.I salute and admire the guts of such people who are the main reason why there is a change for the better in our society.They are the ones who question the unwanted beliefs and traditions that hamper our growth as a society.They face a lot of flak and have to suffer great ridicule and sometimes even pay with their lives.The most recent case in point being the one where Dr. Dabholkar , a social activist who was fighting for the Bill against black magic and superstition was shot dead at Pune.

It is not only about superstitious beliefs or traditions,even our mundane life is under the shadow of  the disgruntled folk.They expect us to speak in a particular manner,dress in a particular manner and behave in a particular manner.Recently, I told one of my colleagues that I have never ever fasted in my life. She proudly told me how she was fasting since her childhood.She told me about all the many occasions when she kept her fasts. Not only that, she made fun of me and said "You don't fast,are you an adivasi?"I did not get the connection.I have no problems with her fasting so why should she have any issue with me not fasting???

People not only have their own beliefs but also expect others to have the very same beliefs.If there are people who do not share their beliefs they are labelled as rebels,non-believers and atheists.

Why do our actions have to be dictated by someone else???Why can't we decide for ourselves how we should speak,dress or behave???

I really hope there are more people who believe in themselves and are themselves instead of clones.

May their tribe increase!

Let us learn to follow our hearts instead of trying to fit  in the crowd.

Let us teach our younger ones how to think instead of what to think.

Let us become more respectful towards our differences instead of expecting everyone to be like us.

Try it yourself- Just be yourself and see how happy it makes you feel.

Har Ek (Saccha) Friend Jaroori Hota Hai

Life is full of challenges.What makes the journey of life more travellable(Yes,I know there is no such word) are the people who we meet on this journey called life.We meet all sorts of people at work and during our various tours and there are some who leave a lasting impression on us.There are some others who make our life miserable yet we realise that even they were part of our growth as they gave us lessons to learn and taught us that life is not a bed of roses,we have to deal with the thorns if we want to enjoy the roses.

Our family and extended family members cannot be chosen but our friends are chosen by us.Right from our childhood days we begin the process of making friends(our chaddi-buddies) and slowly as life progresses we realise that sometimes those old buddies friends are there but only as a reminder of our past.Each one moves forward in life and even if we don't want to we find ourselves drawn away due to distance,work priorities and other issues.As we move further in life we add on to our number of friends and at times we lose our old friends in the melee of life.

Frankly speaking,I did not have very close friends in my school as I was more of an introvert .I connected with my school friends through Facebook recently and we had a reunion.I will always regret missing on that special friendship with a school mate as I have seen some people having lasting friendship with their school mates for many years.I made some some very special friends in my building during my childhood days and I am in touch with a few of them even now though the interaction is limited only to chats on Facebook or Whatssapp and the feeds about them that I get through these social sites.It has been donkeys years since we last met as all are spread in different places around the world. Really wish we could all meet up and re-live those days of past glory, of our childhood days.

Even now I do not make friends too easily but I try my best to hold on to all my old friends and keep the friendship strong.I have seen that there are many who keep in touch with their so-called friends only for personal gains.I had a friend at my B.Ed training and we were quite close and we promised to keep in touch even after the two years of training.After that there were many occasions where I made an effort to keep in touch by calling up and planning to meet but I was not getting the needed response from that side.As usual ,thinking this to be due to work commitments and other priorities I neglected it. Slowly but surely I realised that whenever that 'friend' of mine had some personal favour to ask he called me up whereas otherwise he was totally inaccessible.In fact when he called me up the last time he asked me whether I knew the head of a particular college and when I said I did't , he said that I should have contacts with people as they can be of help when we need them.I said point blank that I don't keep in touch with people for deriving favours from them as I maintain relations called friendships and not contacts.I realized that though I considered him to be a friend, for him I was just another contact who would dole him out of problematic situations.
Guess whose name has been deleted from my cells' contact list after that???

Friendships are precious for me.Friends are for sharing our joys ,sorrows,secrets,fears and what have you. Friends make the journey of life worthwhile and make our travails more bearable.I believe that if there is a willingness, even with all the drudgeries and commitments in life we can and should make time to meet our friends.Even if distance makes meeting physically impossible, there should be an attempt to remain close together in each others hearts.I have a few very dear friends of mine who have slowly drifted apart and I am struggling to get them together again as I know that they are an important part of my life.I realise that they are busy with their lives but I really hope that they find time to re-ignite our friendship before the last spark of our friendship flickers off.At present I am doing my best to meet up with my friends and strengthen old ties and I hope I am successful.

After all,"Har Ek Friend Jaroori Hota hai!"