Live......Do Not Just Exist!

All of us have, but one life.....it is the life we are living right now.For all who talk about life after death and previous life,I can only say that what was in the past we cannot re-construct and what is our future (after death) we cannot foresee.So,basically,what matters is NOW!!!!

We are the creators of our own destiny.The time spent on the face of the earth cannot be got back.We have to learn to live life sans regrets.Life comes with no pause,rewind or fast forward button.All it has is the start and the stop button so whatever action we take day in and day out has an effect on our life.Why not make the most of this wonderful life of ours then?Why not learn to really LIVE life instead of just existing because even animals exist on this earth and we, humans are supposedly the higher animals.

Some may ask, "Wonderful life? What's so wonderful about this life?" For those I can only say that there are so many on the face of this earth who have problems /challenges much more than the ones we bear.Each one has to bear his own cross so why not try to do just that without cribbing and losing hope?Even as I write this I can recollect the many occasions when yours truly has felt dejected and worthless but then that is life! It has its ups and downs.There have been times when we feel that nothing right is happening in our lives but that is when we have to show our mettle and surge forward with renewed vigour and positive attitude.

Discipline and Education can take us far in this regard.Even introspection plays a major role in understanding our strengths and drawbacks so that we can improve each day.When the letters of the word 'Education' are rearranged it forms 'Action Due' How apt!!There are so many around us who know so many things but do not act upon their knowledge.

During my teacher-training we learnt many definitions of education as defined by renowned educationalists but the one that stayed with me was- 'Education is not merely knowing what we do not know, Education is behaving how we do not behave'.

We know so many things but are we actually using what we know for the betterment of society at large?
When there is any issue are we standing for what is right or are we sitting on the fence and/or joining the majority?
Do we actually think or are we just following the herd mentality?
Are our actions being directed by what is the right thing to do or are we just following the actions of others blindly?
Do we dare to oppose anything that we know is wrong or do we cow down in fear and remain mute spectators fearing a backlash?
Do we ever question ourselves to find out whether what we are doing is right or wrong?
Are we really making a difference to society with our actions?
Are we really living or just existing??
Only we can answer these questions truthfully without bias.
But then again,are we really ready to answer them?
Do we care enough to do that??
Do we??

Daughters Of Shame

Just caught my friend reading this book and she recommended it for reading.The book is a non-fiction written by Jasvinder Sanghera ,whose first book on the same lines, Shame was a best seller.

 Book Review 

Title: Daughters of Shame

Author- Jasvinder Sanghera

Genre: Non-fiction

'Daughters of Shame' tells us about the atrocities faced by young married and unmarried girls under the guise of family honour and traditional values.It is shocking to know that people from the so-called educated and reputable families in the west treat their women so inhumanely.These families who originally belong to India and Pakistan try uphold their traditional upbringing in the western society they reside in.There is a plethora of problems in doing this as the young girls who are surrounded by the western influences and culture prevalent around them are confused about their identity and find it difficult to co-relate with the traditional values and submissive culture while being bombarded each day with the open and permissive values of the west.

Some of the real life incidents gave me goose bumps like the one which depicts how a father brutally attacked and killed his teenage daughter when she expressed her desire to marry a westerner.The father,in the name of family honour ,stabs her about 26 times and the attack is so brutal that the knife too bends.There are many such instances that portray how families subjugate their young daughters behind the closed doors and try to get them married forcibly at a young age without allowing them to decide for themselves.Even after the forced marriage the ill-treatment of the young bride continues in her in-laws house and she surrenders to the atrocities meekly.

A few among these young girls are helped by the social organisation started by Jasvinder Sanghera who herself went against her family to marry a man of her choice.All the incidents are a part of the efforts taken by the organisation to help these girls fight back and lead a life of their own without being subjugated by their family.It is a book that brings hope to the many young women out there who are fighting alone for an identity for themselves.It is inspiring and at the same time depressing to know about the problems faced by the girls living in a mixed social set-up.

Frankly speaking,after reading the book I decided to read something more positive and picked up the book 'A Cup of Comfort for Teachers',a book which is a part of the series which tells us inspiring stories that gives us hope.I do not intend to read the book 'Shame' by the same authoress as I have read enough about the pain and want to read about positive stories now.

Be What YOU Wanna Be

'After years of rigorous research,scientists have finally found the key to happiness. 

Its called Being Yourself .'
I read this on a social site recently and how I loved it!

In our life time we have to deal with people at all walks of life and while doing so we tend to try and appease  everyone.We are afraid to hurt the feelings of others or do or say something that may be disliked by the rest.The seeds of doing what others want us to do is sowed right from our childhood.I am not saying that it is a wrong thing to obey our parents,they do know what is best for us.

Later on it is our friends who influence how we think and what we do.At school too, our classmates are a growing influence on us during our wonder years as we want to belong to the group and do not want to be taunted or ridiculed for not behaving like the in - crowd. Sadly,throughout our growing years we are taught what to think instead of being taught how to think.

We are taught not to question and to accept everything told to us without putting forth our viewpoints on the same.This continues throughout our life and we become mere followers and not trend setters.We flow with the crowd and lose ourselves in the crowd thus failing to carve a niche for our self identity and realizing our true self. We fail to speak out our mind,we fail to do as we want to,we fail to go where we want to......... We fail to be ourselves.

The sadder part is that while we become a part of the milling crowd,we start opposing anyone who refuses to be a part of the same crowd.We detest and try to pull down anyone who is trying to be his/her own self and is trying to create an identity of his/her own.If this continues very soon we will have only clones who blindly follow others without thinking.

Thankfully this is not to be.There are so many thinking people out there who,in spite of all the hurdles they face,walk down the untrodden ways.These are the people who think and reason and use their minds and thinking skills without accepting the thoughts of others blindly.I salute and admire the guts of such people who are the main reason why there is a change for the better in our society.They are the ones who question the unwanted beliefs and traditions that hamper our growth as a society.They face a lot of flak and have to suffer great ridicule and sometimes even pay with their lives.The most recent case in point being the one where Dr. Dabholkar , a social activist who was fighting for the Bill against black magic and superstition was shot dead at Pune.

It is not only about superstitious beliefs or traditions,even our mundane life is under the shadow of  the disgruntled folk.They expect us to speak in a particular manner,dress in a particular manner and behave in a particular manner.Recently, I told one of my colleagues that I have never ever fasted in my life. She proudly told me how she was fasting since her childhood.She told me about all the many occasions when she kept her fasts. Not only that, she made fun of me and said "You don't fast,are you an adivasi?"I did not get the connection.I have no problems with her fasting so why should she have any issue with me not fasting???

People not only have their own beliefs but also expect others to have the very same beliefs.If there are people who do not share their beliefs they are labelled as rebels,non-believers and atheists.

Why do our actions have to be dictated by someone else???Why can't we decide for ourselves how we should speak,dress or behave???

I really hope there are more people who believe in themselves and are themselves instead of clones.

May their tribe increase!

Let us learn to follow our hearts instead of trying to fit  in the crowd.

Let us teach our younger ones how to think instead of what to think.

Let us become more respectful towards our differences instead of expecting everyone to be like us.

Try it yourself- Just be yourself and see how happy it makes you feel.