I Want to Die but I Want to Eat TTeokbokki

 Book Review- I Want to Die but I Want to Eat TTeokbokki

Author- Baek Sehee (Korean)

Translated by- Anton Hur

Picked this book online as I read so many great reviews about it that I was tempted. It is a huge best-seller in Korea. This book is a close look at a persons fight against depression. This book is a part memoir and part self help book where the author has shared some of her most vulnerable moments with her readers. 

@thenovelconversation states and I quote ' For those of us who can relate to the unassuming , persistent, spread-out weight of sadness that doesn't quite feel worthy of the title 'depression' this is THE book '

So this book is a collection of conversations of the author with her psychiatrist and throughout the pages inside we can see how she relates her experiences and feelings to her psychiatrist. I truly tried my best to read the book with an open mind although the first few pages itself left me disappointed. I am not against self help books but this one really did not strike a chord and I felt no emotion as I read chapter after chapter highlighting the ups and downs in the protagonist's life. I must add that after a few conversations . the author summed up those emotions in an interesting manner, that part was in fact, according to me the best parts of the book.

There are so many home truths that are shared about the author and the challenges she faced on day-to- day basis. I did not find the conversations interesting and they made me long to stop reading the whole book as when I browsed through the rest of the pages(something that I rarely do) I saw that it continued in the same vein. I think I did not connect because I may not be going through similar situations in life and perhaps a person facing similar issues may feel more connected and like the book. 

For me , it was a below average read but that is just my frank opinion. But I must say that it takes courage to lay bare all your insecurities before readers in the hope that these conversations may help  those facing similar challenges. Many of the issues she has dealt with are the common ones that each of us face so there are chances that many facing crisis in life may be able to relate and it will help them overcome their issues. At the end there is a recipe for how one should have their tteokbokki. 

Frankly speaking, I am a huge fan of Korean Dramas, so when I came across the reviews about this Korean best seller , I was keen to read this one thinking it would give me that touch of Korean life. Unfortunately, that was not to be. 

The Midnight Library

 Book Review- The Midnight Library

Author- Matt Haig

Genre- Fiction

Last year I asked my Secret Santa from my book reading  group to send me a book written by Matt Haig and I was pleasantly surprised to receive not one, but two novels by this author. Just the tag line on the cover 'One Library. Infinite Lives' was enough to infuse me with a kind of urgency to read this one. I had read many positive reviews about this one and wanted to find out for myself if it lived up to all that hype. I read this book at a slow pace and took in every detail. This is a book that actually blew my mind. It is astounding in so many ways. Thank you my Secret Santa for this wonderful gift!  

The Midnight Library is insightful in a way whereby we actually scrutinize our own lives and wonder what we would do differently in our like like the protagonist Nora Seed. Right at the beginning, the reader is aware that this book will be a roller-coaster of emotions. It is about life between life and death. It is all about our choices and the regrets we have after making those choices. Nora Seed goes through depression and hurt throughout her life and finally decides to end her life. When she finds herself in between life and death, she finds herself in a library that allows her to chose different lives that she could have led if she had made different choices. This forms the premise of the novel.

As we move ahead, Nora explores different lives and sees herself realizing that  in every life she finds something amiss. You just cannot have a perfect life for yourself as desired. She experiences so many changes in her mind as she goes through different lives that she understands that the best life you can live is the one you are actually living. What you make of your life is up to you.

This book talks about depression, life goals, persistence and grit. It also has a way of connecting our lives with that of Nora Seed and questioning our lives. 

What is that we regret? 

What would we do differently if given a chance?

Would our decisions make our life story different than the one at present?

More than anything, there are some true gems that are strewn all though the pages. They make us sit up and take notice of something that we failed to notice. All through our lives we fail to take notice of the important things and focus on perfection. We fail to realize that life is not all black and white, we have to accommodate the greys and accept things that are beyond our control. In spite of all the insights we get while reading this book, let me make it clear that this novel is not preachy in any way. All it does is make you think. The what if scenarios keep popping up and we connect with the protagonist all along as if we are soul mates sailing in the same boat. This story is like a slice of life and it has the potential to put a mirror to our lives too. It gives us a realization of where we stand in life and how we have made good and not so good choices that have shaped our lives. This book is an inspirational read.

There are many lines that are worth a mention here, but I am just going to state a few lines that have stayed with me long after completing the novel. 'The paradox of volcanoes was that they were symbols of destruction but also life. Once the lava slows and cools, it solidifies and breaks down over time to become soil- rich, fertile soil. She wasn't a black hole ,she decided. She was a volcano.'

Here are some other thought-provoking lines from the book.

My verdict- This is a must read!

Birthday Celebrations!

 Small treats like these.....

I had a slice of black forest cake from Monginis after such a long time.

Still remember the days when our (building friends') birthdays were celebrated with a cream cake from Monginis , potato wafers, samosa or batata wada and rasna. We were happy with that too and we were not given any choices. We decorated a single wall with festoons and balloons and clicked group pictures in front of it. We just invited our building friends. We enjoyed the little party and were thrilled with whatever gifts we got. The return gift was not mandatory and if given, it was something common like a  pencil box, plastic water bottle or tiffin box.

In my house we never celebrated birthdays like this. My amma just prepared something special for all of us. We didn't have birthday parties at all. It was a new concept for us. Later when we had kids we celebrated our kids birthdays on a small scale as mentioned above.

Nowadays little kids have themed parties at rented halls or at McDonalds or Pizza Hut. They dress up according to the theme decided. Birthday cards are distributed. They also have takeaway gifts that are customised. Selected school friends are invited and it is a huge affair. Parents go all out to compete with each other to have a grand party. Some have movie screenings, magic shows and game hosts to conduct the party. The sad part is they keep comparing each other's parties and feel let down when others give away more expensive takeaway gifts. They also make fun of gifts that are not expensive enough according to them.  In the end it is just a competition among parents to show who has more money power. 

In the end, it  is all the choices we make. Time is changing after all. Trends keep changing too.