Book Review
Title- Soldier Sailor
Author- Claire Kilroy
Genre- Fiction/ Slice of life
Special Mention- The Times Novel of the Year, Guardian, Financial Times, Economist, Irish Times, Daily Telegraph, New Statesman, Irish Independent and Independent Book of the Year.
Some books entertain, some make us think and some take us on a journey of discovery of self. They make us relive our past experiences. Claire Kilroy's Soldier Sailor was like a flashback for me and probably will be one for all the have-been new mothers. This book captures the trials and tribulations of new motherhood in a way that takes us back to our days as new moms.
I agree , being a mother is an experience that we all cherish but it is rare to see someone describe the trials and tribulations of new mothers with so much honesty and clarity with tongue in cheek humour. The book delves into the physical and mental challenges faces by Soldier in bring up her four year old Sailor. Each little task is vividly described and we can actually relate to them as mothers as we have been there, done that. Visits to the park, the mall, a ride in the car, changing nappies, feeding fiascos, dressing up toddlers and screaming tantrums are all included here.
As we read we realize that the Sailors father figure is not involved much, except for when he is finding faults in the Soldier's way of bringing up the little one. All he contributes is in the form of comments, taunts and indifference. The Soldier Marches on trying to do her best keeping herself in the background. Her life becomes her Sailors and she finds her self esteem hit the ground. She keeps sinking in the hole of doubts, guilt and responsibility and has no support. Like the last soldier on the battlefield she keeps fighting for her Sailor, her life.
Claire Kilroy effectively captures the fear and hatred she feels at times in the tumultuous journey of bringing up another human who depends on you for everything. She feels guilt when she has thoughts of not having a child to look after and also feels so possessive and protective that she is ready to kill someone or be killed just to protect her little Sailor.
The silver lining in the cloud is visible when the Soldier comes in contact with her friend a father of three little kids who makes her burden seem lighter. So many instances narrated in such a simple way mixed with dark humour that we can see the heart and soul laid bare before us. It is heart-breaking and heart-warming in a way to see what a mother goes through to bring up her child. A mother's worth cannot be expressed and her work can never be measured.
The father is there but is like a spectator watching everything from afar and hurling curses and venting out his anger when mistakes are made. There is no question of being there and being a part of the child-rearing as this the mothers responsibility. He is there to correct, comment and make you feel insignificant for doing nothing note-worthy while he is out there doing so many important things that he cannot be bothered with the little stuff of bringing up the Sailor.
This is a must read for all new mothers, old mothers, women and even men who need to see what mothers go through. For all mothers , it is like a replay of the trials they faced as a lone Soldier in charge of a little Sailor. For men it is a lesson in being there physically and mentally for your little one as a part of the family. To be there to understand the mothers predicament as she struggles with the little and big tasks as a new mother. Read this one to feel the heart of a new mother and prepare to be blown over by it gradually.
I simply loved the way Claire Kilroy makes us a part of her journey with the conversations and detailed descriptions of the instances that arise. Every moment becomes a story in itself although they are just the mundane and the routine as seen by others. There are some gems scattered all through the pages that hit you and make you sit up and acknowledge the depth in them.
After reading this book I really regret not making note or highlighting the lines that were exceptionally though-provoking and those that hit its mark. These lines were creatively and cleverly hidden in between the lines.
Here are some amazing lines I loved:
“Here's my ennobling truth, Sailor: women risk death to give life to their babies. They endure excruciating pain, their inner parts torn, then they pick themselves up no matter what state they are in, no matter how much blood they've lost, and they tend to their infants… Tell me, men: when were you last split open from the inside?”
“Hadn't thought about death until I had you. A door opened when you entered my life and that door goes two ways. A baby was placed in the crook of my arm, and a skull on my open palm as I was crowned a mother. Here is your baby. One day you will lose him. He will lose you. You will all lose each other, and he never called her Mama again.”
“I am tired. I am lonely. I have found myself mired in resentment in this new life, become a person I don't wish to be, feeling constant guilt for not feeling constant gratitude for the blessing that is my child. I do feel constant gratitude: I adore my child. But I am tired. I am lonely. I am lost.”
“I always knew that, as the mother, I would get the blame for everything.”
Do read this one . It has received good reviews and won many awards for being an in-the -face and raw authentic look at the trials of a new mother. Nothing entertaining or relaxing about this read because it tells you facts and shows a mirror to a mother's frustrations, fears and happy moments in her journey of motherhood.
